Editing - Gun Safety Letter Before and After

After the passage of a state law regarding gun safety, I was tasked to edit a letter written by the legal team. The letter was to be mailed to all school parents in Orange County and it needed to be more appropriate, digestible and engaging for the audience. It was a sensitive situation internally, and a sensitive topic, both of which required great care and diplomacy.
The first image is "before" and the second is "after" editing.